Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Body Language That Says You Are Being Lied To

Want to know whether your spouse is telling you that truth, or whether or not your co-worker really did say good things about you to the boss? There are certain gestures that give away deception in a person and they are easy to spot once you know what you are looking for.

Signs of deception include:

The Poker Face

When we talk about someone or something we use a lot of expressions in our face to clearly illustrate what we are saying. We never hold a straight unchanging facial expression lacking any emotion. We only reserve that face for when we are trying to hide something.

If you notice that the person you are talking to is unusually un-emotional in their facial expressions with the fleeting moment of expression then you can bet they are probably trying to hide something behind their facial expression. It may be disgust, anger, happiness, or another emotion that they don't want t you to see, but believe me it's behind there somewhere.

Too Much or Too Little Eye Contact

I remember being lied to by my ex-boyfriend. It's so obvious on hind-sight, but I didn't see the signs of deception then. He would stare at me without looking away and tell his story, or stick to his story, whichever was the case. I knew that his expression meant something weird, but to me it resembled the expression of a person trying to see if you believe them. That to me, at the time, meant that he wanted to make sure I understood he was telling the truth. What it really meant was that he wanted to see if I was buying his story.

Natural eye contact does not last without a break for the whole conversation, but it is there for the majority of the conversation. If you find that the person you are talking to is giving you too much or too little eye contact then they may be trying to hide something from you.

Touching Their Face While They Talk

People who are holding back their feelings or emotions and want you to believe what they are conveying will often touch their face in some way. Most of the time this face touching results in them covering their mouth in some way - whether with a finger or two, or even their whole hand. It's a sign that they are trying to keep something from spilling out of their mouth. This can also be accompanied by a fake cough or throat clearing.

Touching their nose is another sign of lying. Ever heard of Pinocchio? There is an actual true story behind the nose growing when lying! When someone is lying chemicals called catecholamines are released which cause the nasal tissues to swell. This can result in a desire to scratch their nose as there is a tingling sensation that appears. So if you see rubbing or pulling on the nose then you may be watching their Pinocchio response kick in!

The Fake Smile

People do this when they are lying to make you feel better about what they are saying. Unfortunately a fake smile looks like fake smile and doesn't cover up a lie very good!

Watch for a smile that lasts too long, or a smile that comes and disappears too quickly. This is an indication that they are holding their smile in place to really drive the lie home. A genuine smile slowly comes into play and then fades gradually.

Also watch for a smile that seems off-balance in some way. A real smile consists of both sides of the mouth rising in unison whereas a fake smile usually results in one side being lifted and not the other.

Also watch to see that the corners of the mouth rise up during the smile as this is an indicator of a real smile. It's hard to make the corners of your mouth smile when you are feeling upset or worried.

As a note of caution - if you notice just one of the 'deception' giveaways then don't lock in your vote on them telling a lie just yet. Sometimes these gestures can be done out of being nervous. For instance, my husband constantly rubs his eyes when trying to answer my demanding questions. Even when I know he's telling the truth he will rub his eyes out of nervousness to find the right words to say. So make sure you look for more than just one sign of being lied to and match that up with any other convicting evidence you get before you point the finger.

By: Bellaisa Filippis

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Bellaisa if the owner of the Relationship Circe, a website with relationship advice for women and men on dating, intimacy, and relationship problems.

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