Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Russian girls in bed. 33 Don'ts. Part II.

12. He does not shave.

Since women have growing beard only in very rare cases, men will never understand what suffering can deliver an innocent two-day bristle. Try rubbing your nose on the mate's chin. You will not like it.

13. He keeps kidding during sex.

Laughter is the worst enemy of sex. Having fun and gag in bed is absolutely contraindicated. In the words of another classic: "Whom are you laughing at? You're laughing at yourself!"

14. He fundamentally does not have sex in the mornings.

To our surprise, it turned out that for many women having sex with their beloved in the morning is as pleasantly as to shoot warm cream from fresh milk. Fortunately, most of men are willing to share this exquisite pleasure.

15. He has too long nails

They say that a man is not impotent so long as he has at least one safe finger. But if on that finger is a long, corny and well-bited off nail, then the sexual life can be swept to give up.

16. He keeps saying what she should do.

He is not a sergeant, and she is not a platoon of recruits. Therefore, the commands "Attention!" and "Down!" are relevant on the parade ground, but sound stupid in bed.

17. He does not care for her safety.

Perhaps, we are forced to accept the fact that condom is our duty. Not only agree to use it. Men are expected willingly to buy it in advance, carry it in their pocket and put it on (possibly insensibly).

18. He shows off the size of his penis.

Whom they are boasting before, tell me please? Whether old man Freud was right, and the women too would like to have a penis? Well okay, just remember that women do not like when the men tout it too much.

19. He painfully bites her nipples.

In the past for such things, even nursing infants were having removed their prematurely erupted teeth.

20. He turns her nipples with fingers.

Nipples, again, are not the radio selector, which is heavily adjusted to the desired wave in the hilly terrain conditions. They can only be gently kissed and nibbled.

21. He constantly pulls, squeezes and rubs her breasts.

The breast is not a joystick in a computer game. And not a melon, you have to probe to ensure its ripeness. And not the wet clothes, which must be properly squeezed. It requires a careful attitude.

22. He does acrobatics in bed.

Creativity and diversity in sex is very commendable but man should remember that his partner may not has ended up the circus school in childhood and the prospect of a leg dislocating is not tempting.

The next 11 items to be continued.



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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Russian girls in bed. 33 Don'ts. Part I.

Oh, no. We do not try in any way to climb into your bed, and teach you what you should do there. Quite the contrary. We just want to tell what you should not do there. It is known that women are the beings of thin-mental organization. They may be offended by the most simple and natural things. They tend to get upset because of any nonsense, and attach importance to trifles. Of course, the better they would have been simpler. But, alas, according to the classic: "the ladies are the objective reality given us in sensation." The most unpleasant is their inherent habit of playing "partisan." Your girlfriend will be silent to the bitter end, so that to throw in your face at one point all at once: it turned out that you always gave her nothing but trouble and communication with you has long ago turned to her in a sophisticated way of self-torture. Both morally and physically. And generally... (Each of us knows how much sincere poison a woman can put in this "and generally"). We have conducted a survey among our acquaintances women. Asked them to complain about their men. They did it even with some excessive willingness, it seemed to us. The poll revealed at least 33 points that women can not stand in sex. Do not claiming to be the ultimate objective, we honestly reproduce the results.

1. He comes off too quickly.

Most women are convinced that the only male insidious is a reason for this. They think that he could easily hold out for another half an hour. He just did not want to. Because he is selfish and thinks only about himself...

2. He doesn't come off too long.

Now she thinks that her body does not excite you. And furthermore she is tired.

3. He always keeps silence.

It is known that a man loves by his eyes, and a woman by her ears. And she wants to hear sweet words by those ears. Or at least a moan, indicating the strength of his passion.

4. He is too loud.

Only one of all the interviewed women has complained for this. But very actively. "Wild expression of feelings is fine, but still remember that you are not at the stadium.'

5. He has sex with her without taking off his socks.

Why are women so upset at the sight of a naked man in socks, is unknown. To understand this is not possible, this should be remembered.

6. He unclothes very quickly.

More than anything, the women do not like to be in a stupid position. And if she is in a fur coat and boots, while you have no clothing but a condom, you both look absurdly, to put it mildly.

7. At the most critical moment he interrupts and asks her: "You already came off?"

No comments.

8. He leaves the light turned on.

Too much light makes the bedroom into the operating room. In addition, a woman can not focus on the process, and forced all the time to ensure if she looks sexy enough...

9. He does not take shower before sex.

Ernest Hemingway said that a man should smell like a man. But women disagree with this. They certainly do not expect that he will smell like fresh violets, but the rough facts of life, unfortunately, often do not excite them.

10. He runs to the shower immediately after sex.

Women are like pussy cats. Cats have a habit to rub on a loved one to leave their scent on it. And when he is defiantly in a hurry to part with her smell, she feels resentful.

11. He immediately turns away from her and falls asleep.

Gravest insult. Perhaps this is the worst thing he can do. Even if the day before he took delivery of a dozen cows, wrote his thesis and set a new world record for the hundred-meter race - it does not excuse him. From her point of view he has to cuddle her gently after sex. Otherwise, why does he lay down with her?!



The next 22 items to be continued.



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Thursday, February 3, 2011

One of the "cri de coeur": I have a big butt!

I have a neighbor, her name is Anya, she is 19 years old, she is a student of teacher's institute. In my opinion, she is nice girl, smart and beautiful. Sometimes, being in a bad mood, upon my regular compliment to her, she brings down on my head the overly emotional and unchanging by the sense monologue:

"You don't see that I have nonstandard figure? Just do not say that there is nothing wrong with it and all is fixable. If you saw my ugly full hips with no clothes, you would not have thought so. By the way, such an immense booty was given me by my beloved mom, she has the same constitution. All of her allegations that for the men my lack of is a clear advantage don't make me calm, but drive wild. If she had ever watched or heard with what the derisive glances and caustic "compliment " they meet me and see off, she would have regretted that gave birth to such a squalor. Girlfriends' recommendation to join the sports club and do my own ass with a professional trainer I take like a mockery If even in the free-cut dress they judge me like a monster, then what the "furor" I will make on visitors of the gym being in shirt and shorts! Some kind of complete hopelessness! After the classes I keep staing at home because of the constant sad thoughts about my joyless life, constantly chew something fostering the "culprit" of my suffering. Vicious circle. Perfectly understand it, but can do nothing with ingrained complex in me."


An hour later, after listening to this "sad" revelations I can see from my balcony how "ugly" Anya in a jacket just below the bust, and in a short skirt, laughing happily, hand-in-hand with her next boyfriend goes to a nightclub.



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